Pride beaming from my face, I removed the perfectly browned turkey from the oven. I placed the roasting pan on a hot pad on the center island. There the turkey rested, spotlighted as guests came to check it out. Smiles and nods of approval fed my poultry prowess.

It was time to carve. I sharpened the knife for effect. Positioning the blade on the front right breast, I slowly drew the knife along the breastbone. Easily slicing through the meat, I felt some resistance. Pushing through, I removed the right breast meat, revealing the thoroughly cooked paper packaging for the gizzard, heart and liver.

It was not my first Thanksgiving mishap and it won’t be the last. There were Thanksgivings of forgotten mashed potatoes, burnt turkeys, family arguments and pet interference. Some of these were the most memorable Thanksgivings. Moments I can remember laughing so hard my stomach hurt.

The Stress of the Thanksgiving Experience

Stress around Thanksgiving is normal. We are usually trying to please our most important friends and family. Friends and family that know exactly how to push our buttons.

I am hosting seventeen this year and six will be under seven years old. Kids make it unpredictable, adding another challenge to the meal.

When the stress response kicks in try the reappraising technique. The feeling of stress can be positive or negative. It is all about your perception. Remind yourself that a faster heart rate, nerves, and anxiety can help performance.

Food- Let it Go.

I love food but we over index on food when it comes to great meal experiences. I have had many great meals with very simple food. This Thanksgiving, focus on these four things for the food:

1. Have a plan

In a family full of engineers, the Thanksgiving experience plan got fairly detailed. Check out the Gantt chart below. Charting is not a requirement for a great experience but I would invest a little time in mapping out the flow of events. Share the plan with guests so everyone knows how the meal will unfold.

2. Focus on the common pitfalls

• Ensure enough time, turkey takes the longest so know your cook time
• Turkey Doneness (use a meat thermometer, I have this one)

• Learn to carve a turkey
• Don’t fast all day. Eat regularly and serve guests snacks to avoid Hanger.

3. Divide and Conquer

This is were having a plan helps. Split out responsibility for dishes or tasks. Everyone owns something to avoid multi tasking and increase participation in the experience.

4. In the Words of Elsa, “Let it Go”

We’re all likely amateur chefs attempting a major dining feat while inserting an assortment of uncontrollable factors in the mix. No apologies, brush your shoulders of and enjoy whatever food you have.

At The Table

Kids

Kids struggle with long formal meals. In our house, it is hard to get kids to sit down for a weeknight family meal. There will also be a bunch of unusual food and table settings. To prevent kids melt downs , we plan to try some gamification during our Thanksgiving experience. We will be awarding first kid to the table, best kid eater, and best kid conversationalist.

Parents were informed ahead of time. We plan to talk the kids through the awards when we serve appetizers. Awards will be prominently displayed to remind the kids of the opportunity. It’s a first at this concept in my Thanksgiving experiences so we will see how it goes.

Conversation

In many a Thanksgiving around the country, conversation will devolve to old wounds and political differences. It’s is impossible to ensure pleasant conversation for all parties when Thanksgiving gatherings are large. We plan to try to hold one conversation at the table for at least part of the time.

Guests will be asked in advance to write down what they are most Thankful for this year. We will then pass the dish around the table and each person will draw and read. This avoids putting people on the spot. It also limits one-upmanship from entering the conversation of gratitude.

Savoring the Experience

Ever wonder why time seems to speed up as you get older. It is because we are wired to learn patterns. As our lives become more routine, the clock seems to move faster. The key to slowing down time is to see new things or old things in a different way.

When you are writing new footage this Thanksgiving, try to find something you have not noticed before or look at things more closely. Snap mental images through the dinner. Internalize sounds or gestures of others that make you happy.

To shake things up, we are trying blind tasting after people finish up dinner. Adults will take turns being blindfolded and kids, with adult assistance, will select an item to feed the adult. I am sure the kids will enjoy the power of picking something for a blind adult to eat. For the adults it is a chance to experience the food in a new way. For inspiration on ideas like these check out the at home versions of the World’s Top Meal Experiences.

Finally, don’t worry about the calories. Take the time to work out your gratitude muscle, it is important to your physical and mental health.

What three things went well in your Thanksgiving experience? Please share them in the comments.

via GIPHY

Author

Dan Kurdys is a dad that cooks at home for his wife and three daughters. Growing up, meals were a critical part of Dan’s learning and family bonding. He feels the struggle of balancing a full time job and preparing family meals that are convenient, on budget and healthy. He started his side hustle blog Meal Genome in 2018 to discover insights for better meal experiences. The approach is to use skills from career experience in corporate strategy, a MBA and a degree in Economics toward analytics of meal experiences.